Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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