Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
