sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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