I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
then he tried to convert me to islam
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
