I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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