Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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