I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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