I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
