i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
