I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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