she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I supernannyed him into submission
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