"it" just moved
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize