Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
