i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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