Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
