Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is Oprah even human
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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