Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
