you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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