Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
