Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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