I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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