Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
