I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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