he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She's the barista slut.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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