No subtext here. People are naked.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
