you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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