Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I love having hate sex.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize