I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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