yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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