Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
