so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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