Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dicks are not precious.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize