My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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