they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
