So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
