I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So squirting runs in the family.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
