I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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