Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
tonight lets celebrate not being married
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
