he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
