Pants 0. Shit 1.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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