I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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