Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just saw a hot homeless man
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
