Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
