He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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