My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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