What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The air taste purple.
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