What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
