Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
