wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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