And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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