Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
