In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
