another moral hangover. fuck.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
