Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
