you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
