Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
