this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
