Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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