Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize