is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
